Why Language Matters: Communicating ADHD with Clarity and Confidence
One of the hardest things about living with ADHD isn’t just the symptoms—it’s trying to explain them.
How do you describe the million thoughts firing all at once? Or the sudden need to cry because your shirt feels weird? Or why the dishwasher sat open for three hours with clean dishes inside and you still didn’t put them away?
It took me years to find the words. And once I did, everything got just a little easier.
Why Language Is Powerful
Having the right language to describe your experience isn’t just about labeling—it’s about being understood.
It’s about finally feeling seen. When you say “I’m overstimulated,” instead of “I’m frustrated” or “I can’t handle it,” you’re naming something real. You’re claiming your experience. And more than that—you’re giving others a chance to meet you where you are, with empathy instead of confusion.
Whether it’s task paralysis, body doubling, the Wall of Awful, or executive dysfunction, knowing these terms gives you shortcuts. You don’t have to explain your whole emotional landscape every time. You can just say the thing. And be heard.
The Magic of Shared Language
I’ve seen it firsthand—especially in my marriage. When I told my husband about body doubling, it clicked for both of us. Now, when I’m overwhelmed by dishes or laundry, he’ll just come sit in the kitchen with me. He might scroll on his phone, but his presence unlocks something. It makes it doable. I don’t have to beg for help or explain why I’m spiraling—I just say “Can you body double me?” and he knows.
We’ve also designated drop zones—places where I know it’s okay to set something down without shame, places we have all agreed to and are comfortable with. Just that shared language, and the agreement around it, has made cleaning and maintaining our home feel less like a battleground and more like a partnership.
Why It Matters to Relationships
When your loved ones learn this language too, everything shifts. They can recognize what’s happening before you can. They learn how to support instead of shame. And they stop taking things personally that aren’t personal at all.
Having this shared vocabulary also builds trust. It says, “I want you to understand me—and I want to understand you too.”
Borrow the Words Until They're Yours
You don’t have to come up with all the language yourself. So much already exists, and I have a whole Terms and Definitions page to help you learn some of this language. I also highly recommend the How to ADHD YouTube channel—Jessica McCabe is phenomenal at breaking down ADHD concepts into relatable, empowering explanations. Sometimes, all you need to do is send a video link and say, “This. This is what I’m trying to say.”
A Final Thought
When we name what we’re feeling, we stop apologizing for it.
We stop pretending. We stop masking. And we start connecting—first to ourselves, then to others.
So learn the words. Teach them. Use them. They’re not just vocabulary. They’re lifelines.
