RSD: The Thing I Didn’t Know I Was Feeling All Along

....Rejection sensitivity?

You know, I was going to try and organize these blog posts — line them up neatly like little pastel ducks in a row. But that felt dishonest. Or maybe just... not ADHD-friendly.

So instead, I will "follow the dopamine" - I’m following the pull of what my brain is really thinking about this week: RSD — Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria.

This one’s personal. It’s painful. And honestly? It’s not talked about enough.

What Even Is RSD?

RSD stands for Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, and if that term is new to you, same — until recently. I’ve felt it for years but never had the name for it. And like a lot of ADHD things, once I did get the language, everything clicked.

RSD is basically an intense, often physical, reaction to rejection — or even the perception of rejection. It doesn’t have to be real. It can be a glance, a weird pause in a text message, a tone shift that wasn’t even about me. My brain takes that little spark and turns it into a wildfire.

It’s not a mood disorder, and it’s not a trauma response. It’s one of the more disruptive forms of emotional dysregulation that many adults with ADHD experience — though it's not in the DSM, and definitely not covered in school growing up.

Dr. William Dodson, who’s done a ton of work on ADHD, describes it as “unbearable” emotional pain that feels like being “punched in the chest.” And yeah — I’ve been there. I’ve felt that.

What It’s Felt Like for Me

For most of my life, I thought I was just... overreacting. I’d be fine one minute and then suddenly spiraling after what seemed like nothing to everyone else. My heart would race. My brain would fog. I’d feel hot, ashamed, angry, or like I needed to disappear immediately.

Sometimes I’d lash out, sometimes I’d shut down. Always, I’d end up mentally replaying whatever just happened over and over again — trying to decode it, soften it, rewrite it in my head.

It was exhausting. And for a long time, I assumed I was just "too sensitive" or "not emotionally mature enough." But learning about RSD gave me language for what I was feeling. It helped me stop blaming myself.

So… Can You Fix It?

Short answer? No.
Longer answer? Not exactly — but you can learn to work with it.

There’s no “cure,” and therapy doesn’t always help once an RSD episode is triggered — it tends to hit like a lightning bolt. But I’ve found that the key is catching it early. I’ve learned to:

• Notice when the spiral is starting

• Pause and say, “This feels like RSD — not necessarily truth”

• Ask myself, “What’s another way this moment could be interpreted?”

• Sometimes just ride it out and come back to clarity after the storm

These tiny reframes have helped me move from reaction to reflection. It’s not perfect, and it’s still hard sometimes, but it feels better than drowning in it.

Why This Matters

RSD isn’t just “feeling bad.” It’s intense. It’s sometimes isolating. And most importantly — it’s real.

Whether you're a person with ADHD who resonates with this, or you're someone who loves a person with ADHD, knowing about RSD matters. It creates space for understanding. It builds room for compassion. And it helps shift the narrative from "why are you like this?" to "I see you — let’s figure it out together."

If this hit something in you — you're not alone.
You're not broken.
You're just built a little differently... a little North of Normal.